BLEACH ROCKS!!! awww mannn~* so touchy on the 3rd episode already~*!! okay, i sense addiction... =X
5th attachment... we did on psychoeducation today... some kinda education which benefits patients wif mental health problems... the thing we did on? anger management... well... at least a subject that i'm definitely clear about... bet everyone in their right mind shud be clear on that too...
but oh well... the same problem occured... the only feedback i got from my CI was that i got too excited... as usual from all presentations i've been doing in classes... anxiety... CI said i ought to manage that properly to become better on educations...
otherwise... the rest stays the same... i see patient shouting as usual... i played checkers with patients... it had all became a routine... but i sneaked into the neighbouring wards today... i'm so jealous!! they get to play so many different games with the patients!! table tennis for example!! there's a table there to be set up anytime... there's this "stack and pick" or erm... u guys know wad Uno Stacko is right? hahas... yar, that.. we don't have that in our ward!!! only have pokka and checkers... =.=!! there's "chart-teh" too!! *wadeva the spelling is* y'noe, the one whereby u oughta continue kicking this thing with various color feathers attached to... =.=!!
man~*!!!! sooo many gamessss over that side!! bet i'm gonna be sneaking there more than usual for the next week.. hehe... and wads common in my ward? quarrels... restless patients... fightings... zzz.... even perverted patients... sigh~*
and talking about my case study... i'm sooo lazy!! suppose to be doing the medications on my case study, but yet... watching Bleach here... i totally rock in this last minute thingy~*!! tml's been booked for Amirah to teach her roller blading... that's unless she had forgotten about it, den i'll get back to my medications~* otherwise... it'd be left for homework for sunday.... T.T
and -=HeR=-... i've finally decided not to even attempt to tell -=HeR=- i admire her... more like liking her i mean... let's just keep it the way it is now... the "hi-bye" fren... hmmm~* jus to remind myself anyway... of all the relationships i've been in... none lasted for more than a month... unconsciously... i've counted 15 couples today~* 1 of them as young as secondary 1~3... probably in their 2nd year... so young.... envy... or jealousy... jealousy... or envy...
hmmmmmm~* desperate to be loved, desperate to be companied... every minute, every second... i'm sick... =.=!! love sick...
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
4th Day!!
man~* no comments... no comments... and no comments again... hMmMm~* i shudn't be expecting any eh? =X oh man... geex... how much i wish comments wud start coming in though... hmmm...
oh well.. the 4th day... is jus... a normal day... A day in IMH isn't more a diff in any other place already... i feel... so normal~* patients, are friends... more like, i don see them as patients myself anymore...
something unusual happened though... -=ShE=-
hmmm... i keep telling myself... its jus her appearance i'm in love with...
its jus the appearance...
but -=ShE=- looks so sweet~* i cant help myself... its more like a reflex... my eyes, kept traveling involuntarily to meet hers... i sure hope she doesn't realize i'm stalking her though... sounds so pervertic...
but i did something lame today... quite purposefully though... its true that i gotta get some info from a case file... well, at the same time, i know that, definitely, she'll be in the place where the case files all wud be at... for they had to pass reports at that particular room... and that they needed those files too... i could, well.. finish them way early even b4 they arrive... me, morning shift... -=ShE=-, afternoon shift... but i purposefully left it to the end jus to get a peek at her again... sounds so... sick.. =.=!!
man~~* i'm so obsessed wif this *Can You Feel The Love Tonight* theme song~* not really ppl singing though.. its jus... its jus the song... mannn~* i'm sooo... melted...
i wonder... does true love, really exist? some marry for money, some marry for kids... yet none that i've known, marry for love... even for love they marry... are they true? will they last? are they true enuff to last forever?
i want one too... well... at least one that's true enuff to last my lifetime... Be a Nurse? Studying? Working? Getting high income?? Be sssoooo rich?? i want all of them... but definitely... my most desperate wants, are none other than getting a true love~* will i ever get one? i never know... thats, if i never try... and even if i try, will i ever succeed?
i so doubt myself that i will succeed... depressed, as always... only to stand aside, and envy those hand in hand...
i wanna be cuddled and hugged too... i wanna be cuddled and hugged everyday~* i wanna feel... loved...
HmMmm~*
oh well.. the 4th day... is jus... a normal day... A day in IMH isn't more a diff in any other place already... i feel... so normal~* patients, are friends... more like, i don see them as patients myself anymore...
something unusual happened though... -=ShE=-
hmmm... i keep telling myself... its jus her appearance i'm in love with...
its jus the appearance...
but -=ShE=- looks so sweet~* i cant help myself... its more like a reflex... my eyes, kept traveling involuntarily to meet hers... i sure hope she doesn't realize i'm stalking her though... sounds so pervertic...
but i did something lame today... quite purposefully though... its true that i gotta get some info from a case file... well, at the same time, i know that, definitely, she'll be in the place where the case files all wud be at... for they had to pass reports at that particular room... and that they needed those files too... i could, well.. finish them way early even b4 they arrive... me, morning shift... -=ShE=-, afternoon shift... but i purposefully left it to the end jus to get a peek at her again... sounds so... sick.. =.=!!
man~~* i'm so obsessed wif this *Can You Feel The Love Tonight* theme song~* not really ppl singing though.. its jus... its jus the song... mannn~* i'm sooo... melted...
i wonder... does true love, really exist? some marry for money, some marry for kids... yet none that i've known, marry for love... even for love they marry... are they true? will they last? are they true enuff to last forever?
i want one too... well... at least one that's true enuff to last my lifetime... Be a Nurse? Studying? Working? Getting high income?? Be sssoooo rich?? i want all of them... but definitely... my most desperate wants, are none other than getting a true love~* will i ever get one? i never know... thats, if i never try... and even if i try, will i ever succeed?
i so doubt myself that i will succeed... depressed, as always... only to stand aside, and envy those hand in hand...
i wanna be cuddled and hugged too... i wanna be cuddled and hugged everyday~* i wanna feel... loved...
HmMmm~*
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
3rd Day...
man... yesterday was a bad start, but ended well... today was opposite... fine start, but not quite a nice ending for a day...
i wont say i did something terribly wrong... oh well... i shared my unfinished can of Pepsi with a patient... with an IMH patient... he isn't a diabetic... but i overlooked it... well, he's really thankful that i've shared the drink though... its just... its just that... he wanted to keep the design thats on the can... so he tried and borrowed a scissors... well... as long as its an IMH patient.. i wud say its a definite "No-No" thing to borrow any sharp objects to patients... they can even suicide by using bed sheets... hanging themselves... so i don't see why even if the scissors are returned, sharp aluminum cut by the scissors cant do any harm to the patient... but!! i didn't think of that at that moment.. i jus, gave him the can of Pepsi...
Well... he's kinda unhappy about the nurses taking back the can of pepsi from him though... very unhappy... and its my fault... i didn't intend to cause any trouble... really... hMmMm~* but well... wad's done's done... i'm sorry...
but i've talked through with the patient... as such that they do care for him.. that they fear that he'd get cut from the aluminum... though the patient's right about wad an aluminum piece from that pepsi can wud do to him... but, we can't be sure eh?
i've learnt my lesson though... T.T the next time, i'll pour the drink into the cup been used there and not to give the whole can itself to them... in fact... we're even told not to buy anything for patients around... hmMmMm~* i just really wanna be friendly.... wanna build trust... he jus love coca colar so much.......
sigh~* i really do hope the staff there didn't get any bad impression over wad i've did...
i wont say i did something terribly wrong... oh well... i shared my unfinished can of Pepsi with a patient... with an IMH patient... he isn't a diabetic... but i overlooked it... well, he's really thankful that i've shared the drink though... its just... its just that... he wanted to keep the design thats on the can... so he tried and borrowed a scissors... well... as long as its an IMH patient.. i wud say its a definite "No-No" thing to borrow any sharp objects to patients... they can even suicide by using bed sheets... hanging themselves... so i don't see why even if the scissors are returned, sharp aluminum cut by the scissors cant do any harm to the patient... but!! i didn't think of that at that moment.. i jus, gave him the can of Pepsi...
Well... he's kinda unhappy about the nurses taking back the can of pepsi from him though... very unhappy... and its my fault... i didn't intend to cause any trouble... really... hMmMm~* but well... wad's done's done... i'm sorry...
but i've talked through with the patient... as such that they do care for him.. that they fear that he'd get cut from the aluminum... though the patient's right about wad an aluminum piece from that pepsi can wud do to him... but, we can't be sure eh?
i've learnt my lesson though... T.T the next time, i'll pour the drink into the cup been used there and not to give the whole can itself to them... in fact... we're even told not to buy anything for patients around... hmMmMm~* i just really wanna be friendly.... wanna build trust... he jus love coca colar so much.......
sigh~* i really do hope the staff there didn't get any bad impression over wad i've did...
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
2nd Day Of Attachment~*
ahhh~* the 2nd day isn't really that bad... in fact, i'm starting to think IMH patients aren't much of a diff from patients all around the hospital... only some, whose really severely mentally retarded, who cant take control of their emotions at all, banging on doors and shouting loudly for no known reasons... other than that, IMH isn't really as bad...
But today... started off quite badly... really... it's abit embarrassing y'noe... well... at least i'm kinda conscious that ppl's around... and that some are watching... $1.30 is how much the can of the Ice Lemon Tea costs... so there goes $1.30 for trade of the can drink with the vending machine... i hit on the button that says ice lemon tea, but nothing came out... T.T well... i didn't wan my frens to ask me questions.. i took out another $1.30 and hit on THE OTHER ice lemon tea icon instead... ahh.. this time... out it came... crap~* that costs me $2.60... =.=!! oh well... i'm kinda desperate for the drink anyway at that point of time... hmmm~*
and then... i reached... there... raining sooo heavily... zzz... all the way more embarrassing... it was raining too heavily that i had to ask a friend whose from the same lecture hall group as me for sharing of an umbrella... ssooooo not cool... zzz... ahh~* but thank goodness... she's been sweet enuff to share though... thank goodness...
sigh~* not a good start... but the day went off remarkably well... most of the patients i've talked to are all kinda sane.. as in, they made sense while talking, they are aware of who they are... *One of them actually thought he's the American General whose in charge of creating Nuclears* oh well.. hahas... jus the best i cud do...
"Have you eaten?"
=P hahas... he, as usual, didn't realize i've changed the topic...
gosh gosh gosh... some too sane~*!! Lols~*!! i've been so pathetic... English chess... i've lost to a patient there... of course, with the consolation that i'm not good at it at all... AND!!! what i call the game as the *dump*... something liddat though... well, the pronunciation is exactly liddat though... I'VE LOST TWICE A ROW TO A PATIENT TOO!!! oh damn they're smart!! lols~*!!
Card games... we played card games too~* hehe... my fellow students even showed tricks... and i've learnt them.. waakakakaka... 1 only though.. =P but interesting enough to be shown and impress u guys... hehe... i was impressed too.. =P
hehe... and the day ended... one of the patient commented that i was cute!! no, not was.. i AM cute.. =P alright, i know... self consolation.. self praise = international disgrace... i know i know... zzz... but he did say that!! and he's sane too!! he said my dimple on my left cheek looked very nice on me!! and i believe its "look", not "looked"... wakakakaka... hehe... awww mann~* been so long ever since someone said i look cute/handsome/smart already...
hehe... but really... IMH isn't really that scary afterall... =D i'm really looking forward for the work tml again... now... about my friend saying he wanna stay in IMH after he graduate and work there? it all made sense now... hehe...
Patients there welcome us... they love us to be there... in fact, they love the company... they love our company~* i cud feel it... (^_^)
But today... started off quite badly... really... it's abit embarrassing y'noe... well... at least i'm kinda conscious that ppl's around... and that some are watching... $1.30 is how much the can of the Ice Lemon Tea costs... so there goes $1.30 for trade of the can drink with the vending machine... i hit on the button that says ice lemon tea, but nothing came out... T.T well... i didn't wan my frens to ask me questions.. i took out another $1.30 and hit on THE OTHER ice lemon tea icon instead... ahh.. this time... out it came... crap~* that costs me $2.60... =.=!! oh well... i'm kinda desperate for the drink anyway at that point of time... hmmm~*
and then... i reached... there... raining sooo heavily... zzz... all the way more embarrassing... it was raining too heavily that i had to ask a friend whose from the same lecture hall group as me for sharing of an umbrella... ssooooo not cool... zzz... ahh~* but thank goodness... she's been sweet enuff to share though... thank goodness...
sigh~* not a good start... but the day went off remarkably well... most of the patients i've talked to are all kinda sane.. as in, they made sense while talking, they are aware of who they are... *One of them actually thought he's the American General whose in charge of creating Nuclears* oh well.. hahas... jus the best i cud do...
"Have you eaten?"
=P hahas... he, as usual, didn't realize i've changed the topic...
gosh gosh gosh... some too sane~*!! Lols~*!! i've been so pathetic... English chess... i've lost to a patient there... of course, with the consolation that i'm not good at it at all... AND!!! what i call the game as the *dump*... something liddat though... well, the pronunciation is exactly liddat though... I'VE LOST TWICE A ROW TO A PATIENT TOO!!! oh damn they're smart!! lols~*!!
Card games... we played card games too~* hehe... my fellow students even showed tricks... and i've learnt them.. waakakakaka... 1 only though.. =P but interesting enough to be shown and impress u guys... hehe... i was impressed too.. =P
hehe... and the day ended... one of the patient commented that i was cute!! no, not was.. i AM cute.. =P alright, i know... self consolation.. self praise = international disgrace... i know i know... zzz... but he did say that!! and he's sane too!! he said my dimple on my left cheek looked very nice on me!! and i believe its "look", not "looked"... wakakakaka... hehe... awww mann~* been so long ever since someone said i look cute/handsome/smart already...
hehe... but really... IMH isn't really that scary afterall... =D i'm really looking forward for the work tml again... now... about my friend saying he wanna stay in IMH after he graduate and work there? it all made sense now... hehe...
Patients there welcome us... they love us to be there... in fact, they love the company... they love our company~* i cud feel it... (^_^)
Monday, August 27, 2007
First Day's Attachment?
relieved~* as usual... who wouldn't? especially after exams are over... but to imagine i spent not more than a night for 1 module? jeez~* i really don't know how i'm gonna pass any of the modules that way... i doubt that i'd fail anyway... hahas... right on~*!! keep it up eh? PSLE, N levels, O levels, and now the 2nd year of my Diploma, all the exams... are over a fortnight study... i really wonder how i was able to make it this far...
more to this... instantly after the exam week... today.. a Monday~* a 2 weeks attachment in IMH had jus started... and it isn't really a very nice experience... all touched on Resident Evil i believe? Imagine when all people are doing their own activities... all locked up in a single room... some watching TV, some reading newspaper... some scrolling around the room...
then, one caught sight of us coming... (us been the student nurses and the CI *Clinical Instructor*) then two... three... four... and all now... slowly they gathered around the entrance... and stared...
intimidating!! like as if waiting for preys... some of them even salivate watching us... drool's the correct word though... but oh well... zzz... can't expect any lesser than this in IMH can i? walked in... explored the area... and GOGOGO!!! ALL TO THE TEA ROOM!! NOW NOW!!!
=.=!!! one of the patient grabbed hold of a student... he's been cool enuff not to panick though... took his hand off and replied a Hello~* and walked off... jeez... how wud i ever be almost close to been similar... i think i wud jus freaked out if its me... ahhh crappy~* whatever it is... the experience isn't pleasant.. it seriously isn't...
talks, talks, and more talks from the CI... Breaks... and then... finally... the moment half of me was hoping for, yet half of the other isn't... the interaction period... jus a 10mins interaction period due to time restrictions... *luckily for that though* know wad a schizophrenic patient meant? most of them~* yes... schizo~* "I'm the American 5 star Official who made nuclears in the American army~*!!" one goes... we're told not to reinforce that kinda unrealistic behavior, and at the same time, not to challenge them... the reply, the best i cud do, and always have been doing in other attachments in other hospitals?
"Taken your lunch?"
=.=!! well.. at least he didn't realized there was a sudden change in topic.... but this went on for the nex 5 mins... and then, back to his job in the American soldier again... and there goes...
"Taken your lunch?"
WHOA~*!!! way cool~*!! he didn't realize i've asked this twice in a row already!! okay~~ cool.. this works... and thereby, half of me talking... half of me wishing the CI to call us off for a day... mannnn... thats almost like the longest 5mins ever waited... wif each second passed, i peeped at my phone for the time... and each time i does that... each time i felt that the time had stopped... there's totally nothing in common wif the patient and me to talk about!!
HOME SWEET HOME NOW~*!!! geez.. i really wonder how i'm gonna last the next two weeks if the first day's already that bad...
but man~* -=ShE=- is in the same ward as me... in fact... living in the same area wif me too... oh gosh oh my gosh... i've noticed -=HeR=- presence since months ago in the lecture hall... the desperacity of wanting -=HeR=- attention... damnn~*!!! -=ShE's=- so close... but yet... zzz... okay... keep your cool eh? u're still too young to be in a relationship~* not like u're ever successful in one anyway... to try and fail? i'd rather not start...
oh crap... wadeva... 11:30pm now... feeling unusally tired... i normally cud last till as late as 4am~* must be my work today... sleepy eyes~* guess i'm off to bed for now...
IMH~* hMmMm~*
more to this... instantly after the exam week... today.. a Monday~* a 2 weeks attachment in IMH had jus started... and it isn't really a very nice experience... all touched on Resident Evil i believe? Imagine when all people are doing their own activities... all locked up in a single room... some watching TV, some reading newspaper... some scrolling around the room...
then, one caught sight of us coming... (us been the student nurses and the CI *Clinical Instructor*) then two... three... four... and all now... slowly they gathered around the entrance... and stared...
intimidating!! like as if waiting for preys... some of them even salivate watching us... drool's the correct word though... but oh well... zzz... can't expect any lesser than this in IMH can i? walked in... explored the area... and GOGOGO!!! ALL TO THE TEA ROOM!! NOW NOW!!!
=.=!!! one of the patient grabbed hold of a student... he's been cool enuff not to panick though... took his hand off and replied a Hello~* and walked off... jeez... how wud i ever be almost close to been similar... i think i wud jus freaked out if its me... ahhh crappy~* whatever it is... the experience isn't pleasant.. it seriously isn't...
talks, talks, and more talks from the CI... Breaks... and then... finally... the moment half of me was hoping for, yet half of the other isn't... the interaction period... jus a 10mins interaction period due to time restrictions... *luckily for that though* know wad a schizophrenic patient meant? most of them~* yes... schizo~* "I'm the American 5 star Official who made nuclears in the American army~*!!" one goes... we're told not to reinforce that kinda unrealistic behavior, and at the same time, not to challenge them... the reply, the best i cud do, and always have been doing in other attachments in other hospitals?
"Taken your lunch?"
=.=!! well.. at least he didn't realized there was a sudden change in topic.... but this went on for the nex 5 mins... and then, back to his job in the American soldier again... and there goes...
"Taken your lunch?"
WHOA~*!!! way cool~*!! he didn't realize i've asked this twice in a row already!! okay~~ cool.. this works... and thereby, half of me talking... half of me wishing the CI to call us off for a day... mannnn... thats almost like the longest 5mins ever waited... wif each second passed, i peeped at my phone for the time... and each time i does that... each time i felt that the time had stopped... there's totally nothing in common wif the patient and me to talk about!!
HOME SWEET HOME NOW~*!!! geez.. i really wonder how i'm gonna last the next two weeks if the first day's already that bad...
but man~* -=ShE=- is in the same ward as me... in fact... living in the same area wif me too... oh gosh oh my gosh... i've noticed -=HeR=- presence since months ago in the lecture hall... the desperacity of wanting -=HeR=- attention... damnn~*!!! -=ShE's=- so close... but yet... zzz... okay... keep your cool eh? u're still too young to be in a relationship~* not like u're ever successful in one anyway... to try and fail? i'd rather not start...
oh crap... wadeva... 11:30pm now... feeling unusally tired... i normally cud last till as late as 4am~* must be my work today... sleepy eyes~* guess i'm off to bed for now...
IMH~* hMmMm~*
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